


dress up with daddy

by Anonymous



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Dubious Consent, Extremely Underage, Lap Sex, M/M, Parent/Child Incest, Step-parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1568057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the <a href="http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/85613.html?thread=32152429#t32152429">prompt</a>: Jared (10-14) likes to dress up in his older sister's clothes -- her cheerleader outfit, school uniform, whatever. One day his step-dad, Jensen, catches him playing dress up. Jared is embarrassed and scared that others will find out, but Jensen promises not to tell anyone if Jared lets him see what's under that cute little skirt. After that, Jensen starts buying Jared girly things to wear and pushing him further into sexual acts. Jared is reluctant. He knows they shouldn't, but he kind of likes the attention and how Jensen makes him feel.</p><p>I'd really like an emphasis on the grooming in this -- Jensen pushing and manipulating Jared, and Jared being both reluctant and willing. Maybe Jared loses his embarrassment over the crossdressing and comes to treasure the secret relationship he has with Jensen even though he knows it's wrong</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think this starts out slightly less coerciony than OP wanted, but I'm totally on board with manipulative Jensen actually, it'll be more apparent later on
> 
> to everyone else: Jared is 12 in this - you already know whether that's something you're willing to read or not.

Jared has a lot of secrets for a twelve-year-old.

The first is that he's gay. He's not really ashamed of this - he knows it's okay - but he's not exactly eager to be the target of teasing at school. Between his teacher mom and his scrawny body and nerdy nature, he gets enough shit as it is. 

But even his closest friends don't know. He's just not ready to say it out loud. He's really not ready to come out to his family - his mom would be cool about it, so would Megan. Jeff would probably tease him but not in the bad way, not like the kids at school. Just like a brother.

Jensen...he doesn't know. He thinks...he hopes....

His stepdad's the real reason Jared doesn't tell. Not because he thinks Jensen's homophobic. Jensen's never said a bad thing about it one way or the other, but he's scared it would change things. He's scared that once his stepdad knows - once everyone knows - Jared's second secret would be way too obvious.

Jared's in love with his stepdad. Who wouldn't be? Jensen's gorgeous, like, so good-looking it hurts Jared's chest sometimes, and he's funny and so smart, and he _likes_ Jared. Jensen likes to spend time with him like no one really does except his mom, and he likes to take Jared places - the movies or the museum, or sometimes they stay home and game. Jensen's probably Jared's best friend, to tell the truth, and he treats him like one. They have secrets and jokes and there are things he's shared with Jensen he would never tell anyone else. They're close, and always have been, since Jensen married Jared's mom two...almost three years ago now, the summer right before Jeff left them for college.

If Jensen knew Jared was gay, he might see that for Jared, it's not a 'dad' kind of closeness, though. He might see that Jared's blush when Jensen winks and teases isn't shyness, that how much he loves Jensen's arm around him isn't about having a dad in his life, that the way Jared looks up to Jensen isn't about wanting to _be_ him but about being _with_ him and everything would end. Even if Jensen were okay with Jared being gay - and he's pretty sure he would be - then Jared having a massive crush on his stepdad would sure as hell make everything awkward.

So he keeps it to himself. It's safer that way. Jared's not dumb, he knows they'll never be together and he'll probably, eventually, outgrow it, he'll find someone his own age or whatever. He can't imagine finding anyone he likes _more_ than Jensen, but he knows it's normal to think that, it's all hormones or whatever. Some day he'll get over Jensen, and then he can tell his family he's gay and even if Jensen figures out Jared's crush, it'll be history. Kid stuff they can laugh about. That would be fine.

Jared's last secret is something he can't imagine outgrowing _or_ ever sharing. It's the one he's most ashamed of, but also one of the most exciting. He can't get the privacy to do it very often, but the rarity almost makes it better. He spends weeks anticipating these little afternoons, dreaming about exactly what he'll do with them the next time, so that when it comes around, it's amazing.

He jerks off thinking about it almost as much as he jerks off thinking about Jensen.

Today is one of those few days he gets to indulge himself. It's a Friday afternoon, and he's at the house all on his own. Mom and Jensen are both at work and won't be home for hours, and Megan's at the mall with her friends. They're going to the movies after - she won't be back til late. And he has the whole weekend for homework.

He has _hours_ to do what he wants to. The first thing he does is start a load of laundry. The whites. He'll need to do start the colors and delicates before Mom and Jen get home, so it's best to get those out of the way.

Jared's first rule for himself is to take only use clothes Meg has thrown in her basket - it's just safest. He can't risk her noticing something go missing when she hasn't worn it lately, and she'd totally notice. She can totally name the last time she wore each item of her wardrobe, she's a freak like that. Laundry is Jared's chore, so even if he gets something dirty (hey, he's twelve - it doesn't take much to set him off), he can cover it up really easy. 

After he starts the whites, he forces himself to sort the rest of the laundry out. He's been waiting for a day like this for weeks, he can wait a little longer and this way, he can be free to enjoy his time once the work is done. He'll only have to switch the loads out, and even that has things to recommend it. Jared really loves the dryer, and not only for its energy efficient rating.

His hands shake a little as he sets a few things from Megan's basket to the side, but he carries on with his job. These days, Jared is almost as conscious of Meg's clothes as she is. He wonders what she'll buy today - there's probably no one else in the world as excited about his sister's shopping as he is. Sometimes he gets weird, inappropriate boners in the morning when he sees what Megan has picked out to wear, not because of Meg - ew - but because he imagines what will happen come laundry day. 

Today he's _super_ excited, and has been ever since he saw what Megan was sneaking out of the house in for her date two weeks ago Saturday.

Jared loves the huge selection of Meg's closet, and what he picks out depends on his mood. He's tried everything from sundresses to short shorts to low-riding jeans, but he usually likes her skirts best. Skirts and dresses - it doesn't take a genius to know why. 

Anyway, her shortest skirts are his favorites - she's like four inches taller than he is, so those are the ones that look normal length when he puts them on. When Jared started doing this last year, it was pretty much only her cheerleading uniform to choose from, but ever since she lost her cherry at Junior Prom to Robbie Bower, her hemlines have receded. 

The truth is, she kind of dresses like a slut now and Mom would have a fit if she found out, but that's not Jared's problem and he's reaping the benefits of it, so whatever.

Once the laundry's sorted, Jared can't wait another moment. He snatches up the outfit he's been fantasizing about for weeks now and runs up the stairs, feeling like his skin is on fire.

The only real, full-length mirror in the house is in Mom and Jensen's room, so that's always where he always starts. If he ignores his mom's perfume, it smells like Jensen's cologne, and knowing he's right where Jensen sleeps makes it even more exciting. 

Jared quickly drops his jeans and yanks his t-shirt over his head. He leaves his tighty whiteys - he wishes he had girl panties to go with this, but he's too grossed out to borrow his sister's, and too scared to go without completely, so his briefs have to do. 

First he pulls the pink camisole on over his boyish chest. He's tried wearing a bra - a stuffed one - before, but it looks weird and it takes him forever to get on. Not worth it. Going without ruins the illusion, or at best, makes him look like a flat girl, but he doesn't mind that much. The only thing that really sucks is that it means the top is too big. Megan has huge tits so all her clothes are built for that and they usually gape a bit on Jared. 

He's pleased when he pulls this cami on though - he knew it would fit a little better. It was skin-tight on Megan, so it fits him regular, and clings to his chest because there's no built-in cup. Plus it feels nice. Jared stands in front of the mirror for a moment, rubbing the satiny fabric against his skin. It makes him horny, so he stops - he wants to admire himself with the skirt on for at least a little while before his boner ruins the line.

The camisole's fit and fabric were only half the reason he was excited about this outfit - maybe less than half. Because the skirt.... He picks up the plaid pleated fabric and steps into the waistline, pulling it up and fastening it high on the tightest hook. He pulls the top down over it, so it's harder to tell he has the waistband practically at granny-level so the skirt falls where it did on Megan - right below the ass.

Jared's seen actual school uniforms and they're modest, dowdy - ugly. This isn't that. This is baby pink plaid to match the top and it's like the fantasy universe version of a schoolgirl's skirt. It makes Jared look so pretty, so _girly_ , and he slips his hand under the hem to cup his dick as it starts to get hard. 

What sucks is that half the appeal of dressing up like a girl is how hard it gets him off, and half of it is _looking_ like a girl, and the two aren't compatible. His erection ruins the whole thing.

Jared's knees get watery as he touches himself, so he sits on the edge of the bed and closes his eyes, rubbing himself through the thin white cotton. The first time it occurred to him to do this was right after the first time he jerked off to Jensen. He'd been doing the laundry and he knew it was dumb, but he was folding Megan's clothes and thought, would he like me back if I was a girl? 

He hadn't actually done anything that day, but it stuck in his head. It was all he could think about, wearing girl clothes and Jensen being there and saying...things. And then he tried it and he liked the clothes themselves, so much that he didn't think about Jen at all the first couple times. 

Jared takes his hand out from under his skirt - he doesn't want to come yet, and with that line of thought, he'll cream himself in no time. Not that there's a lot of cream - the internet agrees Jared has a ways to go yet before his jizz starts thickening up. He's kind of grateful for the moment, it's easier to get the come out of Megan's clothes than it will be someday.

Of course, that won't be an issue - Meg will take all her clothes with her this fall to college. He's not sure what he'll do after that, so he tries to enjoy this while it lasts.

It's about time to put the whites in the dryer, so Jared straightens his skirt and heads down the stairs. He's got his hand on the doorknob to the mudroom where the washer/dryer lives when he registers the sound of a key in the back door lock, then the squeal of it swinging open.

He recoils - someone's home, this is bad, this is bad - and turns to run but he trips on a basket and falls face-first on the kitchen floor just as Jensen's voice calls out, "Jared, I'm home!" and the back door swings shut. Jared scrambles up but that only means he's on his feet when Jensen pulls the door to the mudroom open and sees him.

It only takes a second for Jensen to register the outfit, and the shock on his face makes Jared freeze. His chin and his tongue are throbbing where he hit the floor and bit his tongue, and he wants to throw up - Jensen caught him, it's his actual worst nightmare, and he can't move. He can feel his face going red, he's never been more embarrassed, and suddenly his muscles unlock and he runs.

He only makes it a few steps before Jensen grabs hold of his elbow and yanks him around.

"Woah, hey - Jared, calm down. Just...." Jared can't look past his shoes, but even that's too much. He tries to pull away but Jensen holds fast to his arm. 

He sets his briefcase down, then he's grabbing both Jared's shoulder's and squaring them to himself.

"Hey. Hey, Jared, don't cry, okay? Don't cry," Jensen says and that's when Jared realizes his eyes are filled with tears so thick he can't blink them back. It's even more mortifying, and he can't breathe. Jensen rubs his shoulder. "Okay, calm down - breathe. I'm not mad, you're not in trouble, Jay, just breathe. In, there you go, baby...out. Okay. Okay, it's gonna be alright, c'mere," and then Jensen is pulling him in tight for a hug, and Jared lets one sob out before he chokes it down. 

He can't stop his body from wracking with the sobs but he's silent, eyes squeezed tight. He feels like he might die. Jensen's rubbing his back and rocking them a little and saying it's okay over and over but this was the _secret_ secret, this was the one no one could know, and _Jensen_ found out. His whole body's panicking.

After a while - Jared's not even sure how long - he hears the scrape of a chair and then Jensen's sitting down, but he's pulling Jared with him...into Jensen's _lap_ like a little kid and it's too much, it's too much and he starts sobbing for real, ugly, jagged sounds and he clings to Jensen even though he still wants to run away. Jensen's holding him and rocking him and Jared doesn't know why he's not disgusted but if this doesn't do it, finding out why Jared does this will and he's gonna hate him. This is the last time Jen will ever touch him, Jared figures, so he clings and clings and cries against Jensen's white shirt.

Jared doesn't even know how long he cries, but by the time he stops his whole _body_ hurts, like he's been turned inside out and wrung. He aches all over but the tears have stopped, and he's scared to lift his head or open his eyes. He's not sure what happens next.

"Okay - this chair's not built for both of us, sweetheart, my ass is numb," Jensen says gently, and Jared hiccups out a laugh. He can feel Jensen smile against his forehead. "Why don't you stand up for me, okay?"

Jared nods and opens his eyes - they're so swollen, and his eyelashes stick - to climb awkwardly off Jensen's lap. Jensen's hands follow, braced against his body til he's sure that Jared's steady, and even then they don't go away. Jensen stands up and guides Jared to the living room, walks him to the couch and kisses his forehead. He nudges him down and says, "Stay right here," and Jared collapses where he's put. 

He doesn't move. Distantly, he hears Jensen go away, up the stairs to change, and he thinks he should put on normal clothes but nothing seems important. Jensen's not gonna _forget_ he wore his sister's clothes, and he's so very tired, far too tired to move. He's ruined everything.

He lays there, sniffling against the cushiony back of the couch and he can't look when Jensen comes back down the stairs. He hides his face. He hopes he'll be left alone, but of course not, and he flinches at first when Jensen touches him. After a minute of being moved around, he realizes Jensen's sitting down and wants him in his lap again.

Jared shudders out another sob and gratefully accepts, burying his head against Jen's neck.

They sit like that for a minute, quiet - Jensen probably trying to figure out what to say, Jared scared to say anything til he does. The first thing Jensen says is a surprise. "Is this your sister's?"

There's a frown in his voice and Jared hesitates. He's not sure why that's worse to Jensen than crossdressing at all, but he nods, and Jensen huffs a breath.

"I'll have to talk to your mom about this - " Jensen starts, and Jared bolts upright, suddenly able to look him in the eye.

"Please don't, please - I swear I'll stop, I'll never do it again, just please don't tell her - " he begs, and Jen looks strangely confused for a second.

"No, Jared - I mean your sister showing this much skin. I'll just say I found it in the laundry, I won't...I won't tell your mom about _this_ , I promise."

It's exactly what he wanted to hear, but his stomach twists. "Why not?"

Jensen's face goes soft. "It's private. I get that - I'm sorry I scared you so bad by coming home."

Jared's trembling all over, he realizes. Jensen's rubbing his leg, trying to soothe him. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"I get that, baby. I do. You know it's not...anything to be ashamed of, though, right?" Jared's face must show the disbelief he feels, because Jensen laughs a little. "I just mean...at your age, everyone experiments, it doesn't have to mean anything. It doesn't mean you want to be a girl or that you're gay or that you'll want to keep doing this when you get older - "

"For me, it does," Jared chokes out, because the reassurance just makes him feel worse when he knows he won't grow out of it.

Jensen studies his face. "Which part?"

"It - " He doesn't really want to be a girl, not like Jensen means. "The.... The last two parts."

It feels like Jared swallowed a golfball when Jensen just nods, and cups Jared's face so he can start to wipe away the tears. "So you're gay." Jared closes his eyes and nods. "Well that's fine, you know that, right? We'll all still love you, I promise."

Jared feels his chin tremble and his eyes get hot, but he's out of tears. They just kind of burn when he looks at Jensen. "The other part?"

Jensen's mouth tips in a soft smile that makes Jared's heart hurt, and swipes the mess of Jared's other cheek. "We'll keep that part to ourselves, but it's not the end of the world, okay?"

"And you still love me?" Jared warbles out. He's embarrassed but he really needs to know. 

"I absolutely still love you," Jensen tells him, and drops a kiss on his mouth. It's brief and chaste, but it shocks him down to his toes, and makes his stomach flip, the way Jensen just watches him after, face soft. "No more crying, I promise it'll be alright. Believe me?" 

Jared nods, feeling his heart swell with gratitude and love and disbelief, even more so when Jensen kisses him again like sealing a pact. 

"Good boy." Jensen pats his shoulder. "Let's go get you some water and something to eat - you look like you could use it," he says and Jared gets out of his lap, trailing Jensen into the kitchen like this is a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies about locking it to registered users - I didn't think it would be a problem but it's open now
> 
> apparently some of you really loved the lap-sitting, haha...well, you're in luck, because there's going to be a lot more where that came from. Jensen really loves having skirted Jared sit in his lap *cough*
> 
> also glad that some of you mentioned how smart Jared is - I wanted to make him kind of...smart beyond his age, but still a kid at the same time, and I'm glad you're enjoying that.
> 
> aaand in this chapter, we have graduated to surreptitious groping \o/

Jensen gets Jared a glass of water first, and after he drinks it down and blows his nose, he starts to feel better, but still weird. He watches Jensen root through the fridge, and nothing feels real. 

Jensen's talking about the food and cutting a block of cheddar for sandwiches, and it all feels like it's at a distance. They take their plates to the kitchen table and eat. 

He watches Jensen.

"Why are you being so nice about this?" The question comes out of his mouth without him really meaning to ask it, and Jensen looks as surprised as he is. "I mean I'm glad you're not freaking out, but...I just...."

Jensen looks away. "I know it doesn't feel like this right now, but it isn't uncommon, Jay. I get the appeal of it, that's all."

Jared tries to absorb this. He's not sure how to take that, or what it really means. He knows it's not uncommon, but most guys that do it are straight - or that's what he read. Something slides into place. "Does.... Does that mean you like to...?"

Jensen doesn't seem surprised or bothered. He smiles. "No. For me, it's more of an appreciation on other people."

He doesn't say any more, just takes a bite of his sandwich and lets Jared stare at him. He could mean he likes women's clothing on _women_ , but it doesn't feel like that's what he means because he said _people_. Jared doesn't have the courage to ask what he's thinking though - it feels too close to confessing what he wants from Jensen for himself.

They finish the meal in silence - Jensen's more at-ease than Jared's - and take their plates to the sink. 

Jensen tilts a look his way as he rinses them off. Jared's hovering, not sure what to do. "You look very pretty in that," he says, casual like it's something he can just _say_. Jared feels his whole face flame. 

"Um. Thanks?" 

"You're welcome." Jensen turns off the sink and leans back against the counter, studying Jared while he dries off his hands. Jared feels shy with the compliment, and confused. Does this mean Jensen's gay? "What are you wearing under the skirt?"

Jared's eyes fly to Jensen's in surprise, but Jensen looks...normal. Maybe just a bit encouraging, and it flusters him. If Jensen meant something... _wrong_ by it, he wouldn't look like that, right?

"I can already tell it's not boxers, but are they panties or briefs?"

Jared feels his dick swell at the word 'panties' coming from Jensen's mouth. "Um. Just my briefs. It felt weird to...all the clothes I wear are things Meg has worn, so...."

Jensen's eyes crinkle in amusement and he puts the hand towel down. It doesn't feel like he's making fun of Jared - more like he's sharing a joke. "Yeah, I can see how that would be a step too far. It would probably be better than your normal underwear though, right? You'd like it better if they were women's panties?"

Jared nods, blushing to the tips of his ears. His dick is throbbing and he wants to touch himself. 

"Let me see?"

"What?" It feels like he must've heard it wrong, but Jensen just tips his head and gestures.

"Let me see what kind of briefs you're wearing."

Once again, it sounds like such a reasonable thing coming out of Jensen's mouth. It's not like he's never seen Jared in his underwear before. Jared bites his lip and grips the hem of the skirt, pulling it up like he's flashing. He shows Jensen quick, hoping he won't notice his erection.

Jensen simply nods, expression one of polite interest. "I can buy you some, if you'd like."

"Huh?"

Jensen smiles at him. "Panties. I can buy you some of your own."

Jared's throat feels tight. He keeps his hands in front to disguise how much this conversation excites him. "Yes, please. If you don't...mind."

"Not at all."

Jensen pushes away from the counter and Jared freezes, jumping a little as Jensen runs his hand from Jared's waist over his hip. It's something he's done a thousand times, but this time it's not a t-shirt and jeans in the way of his hand, it's a slinky form-fitting camisole and a freaking schoolgirl skirt. 

Jensen smiles and kisses his forehead. "You should go get changed. It's getting late," he says, and Jared jolts into action, because he's right.

*

Days go by and Jared relaxes - Jensen treats him the same as he ever did, never hints about what he saw or mentions his promise to buy things for Jared.

Jared has a whole new fantasy to spank it to, but other than that, it's like it never happened. Days go by, then a week, almost two, and Jared starts to wonder if it did. He thinks Jensen's forgotten what he promised - it's disappointing, but probably better. 

The third week, at dinner, Jensen and Mom are talking about plans they have for the weekend, and suddenly Jensen says, "Oh - Jared, do you mind doing laundry on Friday?"

Jared's mouth goes dry, his face gets hot, and it takes him long enough to answer that Jensen lifts an eyebrow at him. "Yeah. Um. No problem, yeah, okay."

That night, when he goes upstairs there's a shopping bag on his bed. Victoria's Secret. There are three pair of panties inside, all in his size - one silk, one satin, one in lace. Jared locks his door and only tugs his cock a couple times before he loses it.

*

Jared spends the rest of the week as a space cadet, wondering what it means. Jensen could have just bought him the panties, but instead he made them a date. Friday. Does it mean he's planning to come home again? Jared isn't sure if that's thrilling or terrifying, if he wants him there or not. He definitely doesn't want to ask, in case he's mistaken. Maybe Jensen just needs something washed, or....

He doesn't even know. But on Thursday night Jensen mentions how good Megan's grades are and gives her some money to go shopping. He winks at Jared, later.

Jared rushes home on Friday after school, feeling half-sick with anticipation and worry. He tells himself Jensen's not coming home - that he was just making the time for Jared to be alone. He's just being kind and understanding and basically the best stepdad ever. No way it's more than that. Why would he want to come home? 

Still, he can't...he can't do his usual routine today. He can't. He goes straight to Megan's basket and digs out the dress he has in mind, biting his lip and starting the iron because he doesn't want it to be wrinkly. Just in case. While it heats up he goes to his room and strips off his clothing, slipping into the pair of pink satin panties Jensen bought. They cover so much less than his briefs do...the only reason they cover _everything_ is because he's small down there ( _developing_ ). He still reaches in and situates himself carefully, tucking everything just so.

He irons the dress in a hurry, hands trembling. He feels foolish, rushing like this, Jensen's not coming home - 

Except he hears Jensen's truck pull into the drive, a much louder rev than his mother's old Corolla. He missed it last time, but this time he was listening.

Jared turns off the iron and slips the dress on quickly. He wants to look at himself in the mirror but also doesn't want to be caught in Jen's bedroom. He smooths his hands over himself nervously and gathers up the laundry, descending down the stairs like he doesn't know Jensen's here.

He almost trips down the last couple steps when he sees Jensen watching him. Jensen smiles at him fondly. 

Jared hovers at the bottom of the stairs, not sure what to say.

Jensen doesn't seem to share this problem. "I like that one. It looks so much sweeter on you than it does on your sister."

Jared shrugs, face heating. It's a flirty length on Megan - just short enough to push the limits of their mother's tolerance - but on him it's rather long, almost to his knees. It's a sundress, very feminine and flowy and he feels light in it. Pretty. 

"Anyway - why don't you get the laundry started, I'll grab us some soda? I thought we could watch some tv together."

"Okay."

Jared gets the first load of laundry in the washer and when he turns around, Jensen's standing in the doorway watching, two cans of Coke in one large hand. He reaches out the other and Jared takes it, stomach fluttering. Jensen links their fingers together and leads him into the living room.

He sits down on the sofa and tugs on Jared's hand when he tries to sit beside him. When Jared settles into his lap, Jensen smiles and kisses his temple.

It takes a while for Jared to relax. They find some afternoon reruns and drink their soda. The washer times out, and Jared takes the empty cans with him, throwing them away and moving the wet clothes to the dryer, putting the next load in the wash. He reaches into his panties and adjusts himself, then goes back out. He only hesitates for a second before he gets in Jensen's lap. He doesn't know why Jensen wants him there when he's not crying like last time, but it would make it weird if he refused. 

Not that he wants to refuse, exactly. He just...doesn't understand what's happening. He tries to relax after that though, get comfortable.

Jensen wraps an arm around his back and rests his other hand on Jared's thigh. The sundress's cotton feels too thin between them. He can feel Jensen watching him, and doesn't know how to act.

"You're beautiful like this, Jay. Thanks for showing me."

Jared's throat sticks. "You're welcome."

Jensen strokes his leg through the dress. "Are you wearing your panties?"

"Yes," Jared says. His eyes are on the tv. His heart's pounding.

"Which ones?"

"The um." Jared swallows, thick. "The pink."

"You look sweet in pink," Jensen says, and his hand strokes warm over Jared's bare knee. When it moves back towards Jared's hip, the dress gets rucked up his legs with it. "Can I see?"

Jared's mouth is bone-dry. "Okay," he says but doesn't move - he just lets Jensen keep pushing the dress up with his hand. When the fabric's all bunched at his hips, Jensen flips it up over his stomach, baring his panties entirely.

Jared can't look, doesn't acknowledge it's even happening. His face is hot.

"Oh, these fit just right." Jensen runs his finger along the skin above the waistband, and Jared's hips jerk up. He's breathing heavy and he can't seem to stop it. "You like them?" Jensen asks, like he can't see Jared's dick throb through the satin. 

Jared nods.

"I'm glad," Jensen says, and flips the fabric back over Jared's lap like nothing weird just happened.

Except his hand slides back under the fabric. Just on his thigh at first, like before, but on bare skin now, sliding up and down. Jared quickly loses focus on everything else, staring into middle distance and trying to breathe normal. 

He tries to stay still, but sometimes he can't help it. The third time his hips jerk from Jensen's hand straying close, there's a chuckle in his ear. 

"It turns you on, huh? Dressing up?"

Jared isn't exactly eager to correct him - that it does, but it's Jensen's hand making him hard right now - so he just nods, and Jensen's hand slides all the way up, palming Jared's cock. Jared gasps and his head falls against Jensen's shoulder. His vocal cords work, but he's not sure what to say and it comes out all strangled. Jensen breathes against his throat and gropes him through the satin, and it's not long before Jared's tipping on the edge of getting off.

Jensen pulls his hand away, and Jared's eyes open (when did he shut them?). He stares at the ceiling. 

"You don't want to mess your pretty dress yet," Jensen says calmly. "I think I heard the dryer stop."

Dazed, Jared gets up and stumbles to the mudroom. He puts the dry clothes back in the basket and moves the wet clothes over, throwing a dryer sheet in and starting the machine. It's only two loads today, because it hasn't been that long, so there's nothing to put in the washer. 

Jared reaches under his skirt and presses the heel of his hand to his cock, eyes unfocused. Jensen just _touched_ him. His mind replays the chuckle - how the deep sound felt against his ear - and he gasps. It almost doesn't feel real - Jensen reached underneath his skirt and rubbed him through his panties, his hand only one thin layer away from Jared's _cock_ , and Jared quickly muffles the groan that wants to come out as a huge wave of arousal crashes through him.

He needs to come right now, or else he'll come on Jensen's lap. Would Jensen like that? Or would it disgust him? Jared doesn't know, he doesn't understand what Jensen's thinking.

He turns and presses his hips against the dryer door, and gasps. It's hot and _vibrating_ and Jared loves this. He grips the machine with both hands and rubs his cock against the unyielding metal. He drops his forehead against the top and humps it furiously, panting through his mouth - it only takes a minute before he's coming, grinding up against the machine.

After his mind clears, Jared panics - there's a dark spot on his dress, small but noticeable, and Jensen's going to know exactly what he's done. He thinks about changing but that's only worse, only more obvious, and besides, he doesn't want to. He decides to fold the laundry and hope it dries a little. 

It doesn't. Not enough, anyway.

He walks back into the living room, and Jensen looks up - almost immediately, his eyes drop down to the spot and he smiles. Jared feels his face heat, and Jensen _winks_ , but he doesn't say anything as Jared climbs back into his lap. He doesn't touch him, not in a weird way. He just rests his hand on Jared's thigh and they watch tv.

It's the last time Jensen comes home on a Friday for months.


	3. Chapter 3

The week after Jensen touches Jared, he can't stop thinking about it. When he's jacking off, of course, but it's not just about that.

He wonders about what it means. Does Jensen want him? It should be fairly obvious - Jensen touched his cock - but Jared's just not sure. When he thinks about Jensen maybe wanting him, it makes him feel uncomfortable. Jared's only twelve, and he knows there are words for grown men that want kids his age. Really bad words. Words that lead to jail time, and Jared doesn't want to think that Jensen's like that. He can't believe that Jensen's a bad person, but it nags at him. If Jensen really wants him, doesn't it make him bad? Even if...even if Jared wants him back?

He spends a lot of time on his laptop, doing research - with the VPN he uses to torrent HBO turned on and clearing his history afterwards, thank you. Some of the websites say it's ok but frankly they're the creepy ones, so he mostly sticks to encyclopedic and victim support sites. He learns that an adult who likes him would technically be a hebephile rather than the p-word but he's not sure that's much better. He learns all about the warning signs and patterns; he learns about what they call 'grooming.' He wonders if Jensen's been doing that all along, and it really upsets him. 

He has to stop doing his research, because it makes his chest feel tight, thinking that Jensen's only been nice to him because he had this goal of touching Jared. It really scares him - he can't eat, he can't sleep, he can't look at Jensen - but it just doesn't seem right. He's sure that Jensen loves him, that Jensen's a good man, but he wonders if that's what he's meant to think and it twists his head around until he just can't tell. He still jerks off thinking about someone watching him dress up, but he feels weird. He has to make the other person vague and not-Jensen-shaped to get off.

He feels Jen watching him at dinner, and he can tell how worried he is that he's avoiding him, but he can't tell if Jensen's worried for his sake or worried that he's gonna tell. It makes him feel paranoid and ugly and itchy in skin.

It's a bad few weeks.

One Saturday, no one else is home and Jared's in his room instead of hanging out downstairs with Jensen. There's a knock on the door and his heart starts pounding, but he says to come in, cuz he can't just ignore it. His mom gets mad when he does that.

The door swings open, but Jensen doesn't come in, not all the way. He leans against the wall right next to Jared's doorway, arms crossed over his chest like he's really uncomfortable. Jared feels his heart squeeze.

He's looking at the floor. "Hey, so I just wanted to...." His tongue darts out over his bottom lip and then he looks up, and Jared's tummy heats. Jensen's eyes are so beautiful. "Jay, I just wanted to apologize. I made you uncomfortable the last time you dressed up, and I never wanted to do that. I just. I've never...." 

Jensen's eyes skip around the room. They land on Jared's Little League trophy, the one he got for good sportsmanship and participation, and his pro wrestling poster. The ribbons he's gotten for science fair. He chews his lip. Jared doesn't think he's ever seen him look so awkward, and he just wants to get up and hug him, but he doesn't. He also feels weirdly embarrassed for Jensen to see these childish things, reminders of Jared's age. Jensen looks so troubled, Jared wants to cover them up. Then Jen's eyes come back to him and Jared loses his breath.

"You mom doesn't know this, but I'm bisexual. I used to...the dressing up was a thing I used to like. With guys. _Men_. And seeing you just...reminded me how much I liked it. I never should have crossed that line with you, though, and I never meant to hurt you or make you uncomfortable in your own home. Do you believe me?"

Jared hesitates just for a moment, the words _Stage 2: Gaining Trust_ floating up in front of his eyes. He feels sick as soon as he thinks it - Jensen looks so sincere and so worried. So he nods.

Jensen's relief is immediate and obvious. "Good. That's good. So I'll leave you to do what you want to in private, but I want you to know that I understand, and that if you need...if you need me to buy something, or. If you need to talk, you can come to me."

_Stage 3: Fulfilling a Need_ , he thinks, but he pushes it away. That isn't what Jensen is saying - he touched Jared cuz he used to like it with _grown men_ , and Jared just...made him forget himself for a minute. That's different. Jensen doesn't like twelve-year-old boys, he likes crossdressing. It didn't have much to do with Jared at all.

The thought gives him a pang of disappointment, but this is better. Now he can stop worrying about Jen's intentions and what it all means. He has the answer. "Okay. Thank you."

Jensen smiles. "You're welcome, buddy. Wanna come downstairs and hang out?"

Jared nods and shuts his laptop. For the first time in weeks, he doesn't shy away from the hand Jensen puts on his shoulder.

*

When school lets out for the summer, it becomes harder for Jared to find the privacy to dress up. Of course Meg goes out with her friends, but it's at night a lot of the time when Mom and Jensen are there - she's leaving for college soon, so they pushed back her curfew. She's home a lot during the day, mostly sleeping, but Jared can't relax enough to enjoy it so there's no point. 

For a few months, the best he can do is lock the door and put on his panties. He thinks about Jensen again. He starts fantasizing about outfits Jensen might like. Now that he knows Jensen only likes him when he's dressed up, all the other scenarios fall by the wayside - Jen would never want him when he's in his boy clothes. He thinks a lot though about Jensen saying he's pretty, about Jensen asking to see under his skirt, about sitting on Jensen's lap and feeling a hard-on. He plays how Jensen's hand felt on his cock over and over in his mind, about Jensen saying, "I can't help myself" and "you're so beautiful."

Jared can't dress up a lot that summer, but he spends a lot of time closed away and getting off.

He tries not to come in his panties because it's risky right now to wash them. One time he smuggles them into the bathroom under his shirt and locks the door so he can wash them in the sink, but then Meg pounds on the door and asks what's taking him so long, and Jared has to figure out how to smuggle wet panties to his room in front of her. After that, he has to wait til he's alone. The house isn't empty that often, and Jared jacks off so much, he needs more pairs to get him through. 

His desperation leads him to turn to Jensen one night - Meg out with her friends but Mom right there in the kitchen, he has to be quick - and say, "Jensen, can you buy me more panties?" quick and quiet. Jensen licks his lip and nods, and then his mom's back and they both turn to the tv, and it's awkward.

He wonders if Jensen's picturing things now. Jared has to pull his knees up to his chest to hide his erection.

After that, Jen starts leaving bags in his bedroom, next to the bed on the far side, so no one can see them from the door. He doesn't make Jared ask again. Sometimes there are notes tucked inside. At first just stuff like, "I thought you'd like trying something new" when Jensen buys him boyshorts, or "I thought you'd like a matching set" when a little flat-cupped bra is included. One time he buys a pack of girl's cotton panties, modest with little roses, and the note says "to wear under your normal clothes." 

Later they start saying things like, " you look good in pink" or "to bring out the blue in your eyes." 

The notes make him feel weird - not bad, but like it's more than just a favor and it makes him a little uneasy. It also turns him on. He tucks all the notes in a book on his shelf - civil engineering, literally no one else in his family would touch it - and takes them out sometimes when he's jacking off. 

August comes and Jared starts 7th grade. Everyone's busy getting Meg ready for school, buying extra long twin sheets and packing all her stuff, and Jared watches all his favorite things for dressing up get boxed away. It's upsetting. Jared isn't sure he can risk dressing up after she's gone. Even if Jensen would buy him girl's clothes aside from underwear, washing them in the machine will be risky. He's learned his lesson - someday his mom might come home early like Jen did, and Jared can't bear her knowing this part of himself.

The week after they drive Meg to college, it's so quiet - he has all the privacy after school he could want now, but no pretty clothes to wear. She left a few things in her closet, but nothing appealing. 

Then Jensen leaves him a new gift. A perfect copy of the pink schoolgirl skirt and satiny top Jensen caught him in...only sized to fit him perfectly.

One of Jared's biggest regrets about being found out ended up being that he never enjoyed this outfit. It turned out to be ok that Jensen knew - in fact, it's better now that he does - but Jared had so been looking forward to this skirt and then the whole day had been ruined. He hadn't gotten another chance with it since. 

It's the best thing Jensen's ever bought him.

He's about to change into it when something catches his eye - a note - and his heart is racing as he picks it out of the bag.

In Jensen's angular scrawl, it says, "can I come home early this Friday?"

Jared's mouth goes dry. It probably doesn't mean what he thinks it means. It's probably just a warning to dress normal. But if that's what it was, Jensen probably would have delivered it some other way. Not with...not with _this outfit_ in particular. 

Jared's hard as soon as it hits him, what it means. He slides his hand into his underwear, still in his school clothes, and finishes himself off with a few strokes. 

Afterwards, he flops down on the bed, bites his lip and only hesitates for a moment before he texts Jensen "yes."

*

Jensen all but promised not to touch Jared again, so he's not really sure what to expect. He's nervous regardless. His stomach can't decide if it's nervous-bad or nervous-good. He goes back and forth half a dozen times about whether he'll dress up, and spends all week debating what pair of panties he'll wear if he does.

He comes home from school at the end of the week, heart in his throat, and puts the outfit on. His hands are shaking with adrenaline; he feels a little out-of-body. What is he doing? Does he want to?

He hears the truck pull up. Jensen's home. He still hasn't left his room when the back door slams, and then Jensen's work boots are coming heavy up the stairs. There's a short knock and his door, which was cracked, pushes wide.

Jen stands in the door, looking him over, and Jared blushes. Jensen's breathing hard, and he swallows, audibly thick. It makes blood pool in Jared's groin but also makes him nervous.

"You got no idea how often I think of you like this," Jensen says, and as many times as Jared has fantasized about him in the last few months, it sends a shiver of wrong down his spine. He shrugs, unsure what to say in response.

"Thank you for buying it," he settles on eventually.

"You're welcome. So listen, I rented a movie I thought you'd like." His eyes sweep Jared's body again, intense. "Come down when you're ready."

And then he's gone.

*

The movie Jensen rented is gay romance - Jared's flustered and excited all at once. It's a little embarrassing to think of watching it with _Jensen_ , but not enough to stop him from putting it on immediately.

Jared settles in on the couch and Jensen comes back with soda. He beckons Jared into his lap and it's deja vu, but he goes. He rests his head against Jensen's chest and fastforwards through the ads, though he stops to watch the trailers for similar movies. They hit the menu and Jared starts the film.

There's no laundry to interrupt them today. The movie's about two high school kids, one senior and one sophomore. The younger boy has a girlfriend and wants to be straight, but he's seduced into a relationship and they have to sneak around. 

Their situation is nothing like him and Jensen's (if he and Jensen even have a 'situation'), but there are enough common themes that it makes him self-conscious, and hyperaware of Jensen's body against his. When the boys kiss for the first time, Jared flushes and shifts in Jensen's lap. Jensen's arm comes to rest across his lap, as if to keep him still...the hand on his hip is so close to his dick that Jared freezes. 

"Indie movies like this are always a little more explicit," Jensen says as the older boy in the film pins the younger one up against a fence and undoes his jean fly. The camera doesn't show what's happening, but it's obvious he's jerking him off.

Jensen's thumb slides back and forth, sweeping right against his pantyline through the skirt and then away again. By the time the boy on screen groans out his orgasm and sinks to his knees to suck the other kid off, he's leaking precome.

"Which pair of panties are you wearing?" Jensen asks. He presses a kiss to Jared's ear that makes him jolt. Jared's heart is thumping painfully against his rib cage. 

"The white ones."

"With the ruffles on the butt?"

Jared nods. Jensen breathes against his ear and his thumb comes so close that his dick twitches. He's so so turned on but so confused. He remembers how sheepish Jen was, all those months ago, and hears his own fantasy Jensen: _I just can't help myself_.

"Can I see?"

Jared's not sure if he really wants this but he might, and he doesn't want to alienate Jensen again, so he nods. As soon as he gives the okay, Jensen's hand slides up his skirt and flips it back, exposing Jared to his eyes.

The ruffle-butt panties are satin at the back but the front is made of lace, so he really is exposed. You can't see everything, but you can see enough. Right now it's especially obscene because Jared's so hard - they're tight enough you can see the shaft clearly and the two little lumps of his balls. 

Jensen reaches out and traces his index finger delicately up the shaft, and Jared shudders. "My beautiful boy. Is this for me?"

He wants to say no, because it's embarrassing, because he gets hard all the time and for no reason at all. Because it could be about the skirt or the panties or the movie, but it's not. "Yes."

"I'm the one that made your cock hard?"

Jared's throat is tight, and his face feels like it's on fire. He nods a yes.

"It's okay, I know you have a bit of a crush." Jensen's hand molds itself around Jared's cock and balls, rubbing him through the white lace. Jared whimpers. The panties are well-made so it's smooth on the inside, but the texture is still a bit abrasive on his skin. He never gets himself off inside this pair because it ends with his dick chafed. "It's perfectly normal."

Jared's eyes are closed but he can hear the movie still on in the background. They probably missed some more plot, but the boys are at it again - grunting and swearing and there's furniture banging a wall. Jensen kisses his neck.

"Have you experimented with other boys?" Jared shakes his head, torn between relief and agony when Jensen takes his hand away. His fingers dip around to slide over his ass through the satin ruffles. "Anyone at school that you like?" He shakes his head again, because not really.

Jensen's hand comes up and turns Jared's face towards him. Jared opens his eyes. Jensen's eyes look sleepy but his pupils are big. His features are slack. 

"So I'm the _only_ one to makes your little dick hard?"

Jared pauses but eventually nods, and Jensen pulls him forward into a kiss. It's not like the kisses Jensen gave him on the day he first got caught. Those were brief, just a press of mouths. This kiss is messy and open and actually a little bit scary. When Jensen pulls away, they're both breathing hard, but for different reasons. 

"Sweet boy," Jensen says, and he shifts Jared so they're back to chest. Then he puts his hand back in Jared's lap...slides it inside the waist of his panties and cups his cock, skin to skin. Jared gasps and rubs up against it, and Jensen rubs him, murmuring, "That's it, baby, fuck my hand like a dirty boy."

Jared does. 

He comes just a few moments later. Jensen holds him up as he goes boneless and says sweet things in Jared's ear, calling him a good boy and saying he's pretty when he comes.

Jared falls asleep after that. 

He never does get to see the rest of that movie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a few of you have asked / wondered aloud about Jensen's motives, and tbh I'm just kind of discovering them as I go along so your interpretation is as valid as mine, but for anyone who'd like my take on it, I've decided Jensen is, in this sitatuion, what you'd call an opportunistic predator. he's never done this before, maybe never even fantasized about young boys, and he probably isn't spending a lot of time plotting about it. I'm sure he has nice self-justifications for what's going on, but that doesn't mean his motives are pure or that this is ok in any way - even if there's no premeditation, there's some serious fuckery in Jensen's head that allows him to move things forward. 
> 
> slightly different note, a heads up that this probably won't end in a happy shippy way - I mean, I don't think anyone's going to end up in prison either, for anyone who wants to see him punished, but it's not twu wuv. so a double-edged warning there. I'm more fond of the "suffer in silence until Jared's fucked in the head" route. heh.

It becomes a routine of sorts. Jensen starts buying him outfits and coming home early on Fridays, and Jared dresses up for him. He sits on Jensen's lap and Jensen fondles him under his skirt, sometimes for hours - sometimes he keeps Jared on the edge of coming the whole time. Other days, he makes Jared come over and over until he's exhausted. After the second week, Jared stops dressing up when Jen's not home. Jensen likes seeing it so much, it just feels...wrong to do it when he's not there. Dress-up is _their_ thing, a thing that belongs to Jensen as much as Jared. 

After a few times, Jared stops worrying so much about whether it's wrong, or about Jen's intentions. Jensen gets hard from looking at Jared and touching his cock, but he never asks Jared to touch it. In fact, he never mentions it at all - he disappears into the master bedroom every time before Jared's mom gets home, and while he never spells out why, Jared knows. It's mostly a relief. Sometimes Jared wonders, what it would be like to watch or help, but it still makes his stomach feel tight, makes him anxious more than excited, so he's glad.

He's not anxious anymore about the way that Jensen touches him - kisses and caresses on Fridays with the tv on. Sometimes Jensen slips his hand inside Jared's panties, sometimes he doesn't, but he never takes Jared's clothes off, and the afternoons aren't all sex. He makes Jared afternoon snacks and they talk the way they always have. It's the best thing in Jared's life - not that his life's bad. It's just that this is exciting. _Amazing_ , this thing that happens and he's not sure how or why. Sometimes he wishes he could tell someone else, but even if he were out, he knows that wouldn't be an option. Not in a million years - even later when he's all grown up, he knows he can never tell anyone that this happened. 

No one will understand.

*

About six weeks after their Fridays start, Jensen comes home early on a Tuesday. Jared's doing homework in the living room in normal clothes - it's a normal day - and it startles him to see Jensen at home. 

He doesn't look sick, either. For a second, Jared has a weird sensation that he's mixed up the days of the week. But no, it's Tuesday.

Jensen pauses in the doorway to the living room, and they look at each other.

"Hey, baby." 

The nickname makes Jared flush in pleasure, the way it always does. Jensen never called him things like that before he learned about dress-up - it used to always be _buddy_ and _champ_. Still is, when Mom is around. 

Jensen's mouth quirks up, but it's tired. "Wanna go put something nice on for me?"

Jared opens his mouth to ask why Jensen's home on a Tuesday, but now that he's looking - Jensen isn't sick, but he looks really drawn. A headache, or maybe a bad day. 

Jared closes up his math book and nods, running up the stairs to pick something out - Jensen hasn't bought him his new thing yet for the week, but Jared's got plenty. He slips on a white v-necked tank top and a skirt that's one of Jared's favorites - longer than the rest, to an inch above his knee, but full and pretty - when he spins, it does the thing where it flies out from his legs. The skirt's white too, with flowers crawling up from the bottom. He tops it off with a pair of pink cotton panties he knows Jensen likes. Without even checking, he knows the outfit makes him look pretty and feminine and sweet. Jensen likes that kind of thing.

When he gets downstairs, Jensen's in the kitchen, staring into the fridge. Blank, like he's not seeing. He has an open beer in his hand, three-quarters empty. For the first time, Jared worries that Jensen lost his job or something like that.

"Jensen? Is something wrong?"

Jen shuts the fridge and turns around, smiling as he looks Jared over. It seems more genuine than it did before. "Not really. Nothing an afternoon with you can't fix." He wanders closer and kisses Jared on the mouth, short and sweet. His eyes are smiling; Jared loves when that happens. "You look gorgeous in that, by the way."

Jared's cheeks get warm, and he can't help but smile. He loves the idea that he can fix Jen's day just by being here.

Jensen sets his beer on the counter and hoists Jared up to sit on it - he hops up there all the time by himself, but he likes being lifted. It makes him flush. It makes him feel delicate and small.

"Look at you. My pretty baby." It's the most direct appraisal Jensen's given him in months, and Jared preens under the attention as Jensen runs his hands over Jared's clothes, looking his fill.

He cups Jared's calves and strokes them up and down - Jared doesn't have any hair yet, not really. There's only the baby fine kind he has all over. Jen loves how soft he feels - he's told Jared before. His hands slip up Jared's thighs to touch him there...where his legs become his ass, and it makes Jared squirm. It makes his dick perk up when Jensen rucks the skirt high on his thighs and grips Jared's hips. He slides him to the edge, so his legs sprawl around Jensen's waist.

He pulls his hands out from under Jared's skirt...runs his thumbs over Jared's nipples, right through his top. Jared's breath is getting short. Normally the television's on, some kind of distraction. They've never done this face-to-face, with Jensen looking right at him the whole time.

"Do you like that?" Jensen asks. He's leaning close and his breath smells like beer. It feels nice, what Jensen's doing to his chest - gives him goosebumps, makes him warm - so Jared nods. Jen's eyes drop down to his chest and he pinches the sensitive flesh through fabric. "Pretty lil titties."

Jared feels a flash of something hot - lust or shame, he's never sure. Sometimes the things that Jensen says when he touches Jared are great - Jared loves being told that he's pretty and sweet, but other times he says...other stuff and Jared doesn't know how to feel. It's never really bad, Jared never really hates it, just...likes it and doesn't, in such equal measure that he's not sure what to do.

Jensen leans in and takes his mouth. Jared doesn't want to be a kid about the beer breath, so he lets himself be kissed. He's gotten better at this part, he thinks. He knows what to do now when Jensen puts his tongue inside. He knows how to make Jensen groan against his mouth. 

Jensen's fingers push the top up his chest, playing over his skin, then they slide, fickle, down to stroke his legs. At first it's gentle, but little by little his hands get greedy, until it's like they're trying to eat him alive while his mouth does the same. 

Jared's dick really likes it, but it's intense like Jen's not holding back. Like Jensen's not entirely in control. Jared doesn't think it's due to just the beer - he's seen him drink lots more - but maybe his bad day. He tries to go with it but his chest just keeps getting tighter.

Jared pulls himself free of Jensen's mouth. "Jensen, please - "

"Can you do something for me when we're like this, baby?" Jen interrupts. His hands stay right where they are, on Jared's ass, pressing Jared forward, grinding his hips against Jensen's torso. It's distracting, but still a welcome relief from the frantic groping before. Jensen licks his ear and Jared tries to get his breath back. "Just when you're dressed up?"

Jared hesitates, wary of Jensen for some reason right now. "Like what?"

"You know I don't mind you calling me by name the rest of the time, but when we're like this...." Jensen leans in and kisses his neck. His voice is breathy when he continues. "I'd really like you to call me Daddy."

Jared's so hard all of a sudden, he can't breathe. He shudders all over. This is fucked up - for Jensen to ask, for him to want to do it, for anything to even be happening in the first place. He knows that. Sometimes he can't even look his mom in the face on Friday evenings. As if this weren't already bad enough, the thought of calling Jensen that - the fact that it's _true_ \- makes Jared feel boiling hot under his skin and he doesn't know why. It's only a little bit of it shame. "Why... _why?_ " 

Jensen's body stills for a moment, then he's wrapping Jared in his arms, too constrictive to really call a hug. "Not - it's not...it's just what I like, what I used to do. Please, Jay. Want it so bad."

It's both terrible and relieving to know he's not the only one to use the word, that it's not because they're.... That it's something he also did with the grown men he was with. And Jensen's _begging_. Jared tamps down the new shudder that comes like a thrill or a warning. "Okay. Okay, Daddy."

He feels foolish and strange, but Jensen's breath sticks and then kisses all the bare skin he can reach. "Thank you, baby. Say it again."

Jared swallows. "You're my Daddy."

Jensen's voice comes out deeper. "That's my good girl." 

Jared gasps, hips jerking. Jensen's never called him a girl before, always 'boy,' no matter what he wore. He can't even think how to feel about the change - his mind goes blank and clean. 

"Is my little girl getting wet?" Jensen says against his ear, gripping Jared's ass and rubbing him forward against his stomach. It's shockingly direct and blunt - all of this is - so much _more_ than any Friday they've had. It feels out of control. Overwhelming. "I want to lick you clean, baby. Suck on your little clit. Will you let me?"

Jared's thigh muscles tighten around Jensen's waist. Does this mean Jen wants to blow him? Is that what clit-sucking means in this scenario? His stomach is filled with butterflies as Jensen pulls back and pushes his knees apart. He ducks under Jared's skirt and it obscures his face from view as he licks at the panties, wetting the cotton over Jared's cock and balls. 

" _Oh_." Jared shoves his fist in his mouth as Jensen laps at him, messy through the fabric. He sucks on the tip of his cock and on his balls, then pulls the waistband down out of the way and tucks it under his sack. Exposing him. Jared's gut does the thing like the top of a rollercoaster - wait wait not yet - but it's too late to change it, Jensen's mouth is on him.

Jensen sucks him bare, and Jared falls back, hits his head on the wall. It feels so good, he hardly feels that pain. His legs spread open wider like that will help. 

Jensen kisses his cock. "You like when Daddy puts his head between your legs?"

Jensen licks a stripe up his cock and Jared sobs. " _Yes_."

"Yes, who?"

Jared reaches for an answer. "Yes, Daddy." A drop of precome squeezes out at the words, and Jensen laps it up. 

"I like it too. You're so tasty." He sucks a testicle into his mouth and Jared bites down on his fist. So good, God, it feels so good. "Love how delicate and naked you are down here. Imagined eating you out like this for months."

He takes Jared's cock back into his mouth and sucks on it - Jared bucks so hard, Jensen has to hold him down. He's embarrassed by the sounds he's making, too high-pitched to call a moan. They sound startled and overwhelmed, and Jared can't hold them in. 

He reaches down and grabs Jensen's head. "Je - Da - I'm gonna come, I'mgonnacome - "

Jared comes so hard it makes his body curl. Jensen moves with him, sucking and licking as he sobs it out. His hips keep jagging forward long after he's spent, and he's relieved when his body finally collapses and Jensen lets his dick go. His eyes are wet...he feels empty and strange. He pants up at the ceiling, staring at the funny bit of spackle that looks like a rabbit, but Jensen's being gentle and sweet as he tucks his panties back in place.

He kisses Jared's thighs and his knees and his tummy. Then he tugs Jared's top back over his skin and helps him sit up. 

Jared feels like a handful of cooked noodles, still, so he's glad Jensen steadies him. 

"Did that feel good?" Jensen looks so happy and relaxed that Jared nods, even though he's not sure, even though it felt like too much. It did feel good, really good. Jensen gave him pleasure. He's not sure why he wants to cry a little.

Jensen smiles and pulls Jared's hand to his face, rubbing his jaw against Jared's palm and then turning and kissing it. "Good. That makes my whole day, it really does." 

They look at each other for a few minutes. Jared's just trying to get his breath back, but Jensen's studying his face with this fond, happy look, like he enjoys how dazed Jared seems. After a few minutes, he chuckles. 

"I'm gonna go change out of my work clothes, they suddenly got a little less comfortable," Jensen says, and he winks. He adjusts himself and makes a face, and Jared realizes he came. Jensen came this time. In his pants. Did he touch himself, or was it just.... Jared wasn't paying attention to anything but the feel of his mouth at the time. "Wanna pick us out a movie?"

Jared blinks, dazed. It shouldn't matter if Jensen touched himself. He didn't ask Jared to do it. 

Jensen waves a hand in front of his face. "Hey, kiddo - movie?"

Jared nods - he needs to do his homework, but he's sleepy and weird-feeling now, and Jensen could probably still use the company. 

He gets a sweet kiss on the mouth in reward. Jensen walks away - carefully, like he's sticky - and Jared hops down. He smooths his skirt down on his way out of the kitchen.

*

All they do is cuddle the rest of that evening. Jared's quiet - he knows he's quiet - and Jensen notices, gives him a few looks, but Jared's not sure what to say, or even what's wrong. 

Shortly before he has to get up and change, Jensen gives him a little squeeze. "Hey, are you okay?"

He sounds so genuinely concerned that Jared says "Yeah" without a thought. When Jensen continues to watch him, he admits, "I don't know. Just a little...tired, I guess, I'm just." 

He doesn't even know how to finish that sentence without sounding bratty and ungrateful. He doesn't understand what his problem is anyway. 

But Jensen gets it. He brushes his knuckles over Jared's cheek, eyebrows gathered up together. "Was that too much?"

Reluctant to admit it, Jared nods. It's embarrassing. It's not like Jensen hurt him. But Jensen doesn't look put out, just sorry.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I got a little.... You know you can ask me to stop, right? Any time, if I do something that's too much, or that you don't like, just tell me and I'll stop. We can stop this altogether."

"No!" Jared says. His hand is clutched in Jensen's shirt. "I don't want to stop. I promise I'll tell you next time. We don't have to stop."

Jensen nods, looking appeased. He runs his fingers through Jared's hair. "What didn't you like? I won't do it anymore, whatever it is."

Jared sucks on his bottom lip. "You were kinda rough. You didn't hurt me, you were just. It just felt like. It was kind of scary."

"Okay," Jensen nods. "I'll be gentle. Is that all?"

Jared thinks about getting his dick sucked, about the things Jensen said, the things he asked Jared to say, but he didn't...hate any of that. He liked it. He liked it more than he hated it. And Jensen liked it a lot. It's a compromise. "Just that."

"Okay. Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry I scared you - you know I love you, right? I only want to make you enjoy what we do." Jensen kisses his face - forehead, nose, cheek, chin, mouth, eyelid, over again - and Jared warms again because he does know. He says as much. "Good. I promise I'll never make you do anything you don't want, okay? You just have to tell me."

Jared promises - he should've just said something, should've known better than to think Jensen would've kept going. It was pretty dumb. Jensen would never do anything like that.

They stay there for a while, Jensen cuddling him and saying nice things, until Jared feels safe and loved and just a little silly. Jen indulges him almost too long - Jared's mom pulls into the drive while he's still in Jensen's lap, and he has to scramble up the stairs and change. As he tucks his schoolgirl outfit back in the closet, he can hear Jen and his mom talking, and he feels guilty again for doing this. Like, stealing her husband. Do they still have sex?

Jared can't breathe for a second, because he's not sure which answer would feel worse. He doesn't want to know. It's better if he never (ever) finds out.


End file.
